Leadership and Respect: Like Paintbrush and Paint or Oil and Water?

I was fortunate to have a truly amiable conversation with a CEO of a major retailer in Europe a few weeks ago.  I was worried about the appointment because the first time we’d tried to meet – after numerous scheduling attempts – I’d had to take the call on my iPhone and, lo and behold, only 90 seconds into the call it got “dropped” by AT&T demons. I was absolutely mortified.

Given the demands on his schedule by others, I was worried that this gentleman would have little time (and to be honest, little patience) allotted for our call, and I was prepared to be cordial but succinct.

It turned out to be one of the most gracious calls I’ve had in a very long time.  This executive could not have been more thoughtful and was a delight to talk to because he was so honest and forthright about his current business challenges and genuinely affable in the way he shared them with me.  He thanked me for my time and my persistence in trying to reach him and asked me several times to please stay in touch, going as far as describing the way that I could stay in touch that would be most valuable to him. 

When I imagine in my mind a “canvas of respect” so to speak – a melding of different attributes of respectfulness and how we demonstrate it as leaders, I see this gentleman as having his own vibrant paint on the canvas. He’d be one of those colors that we’re all naturally attracted to, like the deep cerulean blue of a beautiful fall sky.

And yet, at one point or another we’ve all met leaders who are wildly successful despite the fact that they treat their employees, partners, teams, boards, and customers with little or virtually no respect. Or – perhaps worse? – they purposely differentiate and treat their Boards and peers with respect but not their subordinates. 

We shake our heads and assure ourselves we’d never lead like that, that we’d never work with or for someone like that and we hold out faith that the “good guys” (and gals!) really do “win” (meaning, in this context, they’re selected for the leadership roles they want most).

But, as much as we’d like to believe it, is that really true and just how important is respect to being successful in a leadership role?

Here’s what I think about respect and real leaders:

1. Real leaders treat others with respect, regardless of rank, title, age, gender, race or ethnicity, simply because we’re all equal as humans.

2. I think this is either an innate understanding and quality in these people or something that they work very hard at because of its importance. 

3. Because of this, because being respectful is simply part of who they are, they naturally attract followers.  The energy they exude is attractive and safe to others because of its respectful nature – people will be drawn to them because they feel they will be valued and “heard.”

4. This makes these people more likely to stand out in an organization and also makes them less likely to be a threat on a personal level to existing leaders. Note that I didn’t say “professional level” – because I think this innate ability to fully respect others is a leadership advantage and may present a professional threat.  But on a personal level, it’s hard to feel negatively about someone who treats you – genuinely – with respect.

Follow the cycle and those for whom respect is clearly part of their palette will be more apt to be in a position to become leaders. When they “fall down” – and we all do – it will be inadvertently, certainly not purposefully, and they will work hard to learn from the experience.

Therefore, to answer my own question, I’m going with paintbrush and paint.

I believe that people who are intrinsically respectful are more likely to be given opportunities to lead because they will stand out naturally and are the type of people that will naturally attract followers.  They’ll be more inspiring leaders and the type of leader that great talent will want to work for.

Does that mean they will be more successful than other leaders? Not necessarily (unfortunately). 

But – I think it’s one of the most critical attributes for getting the top job.

What do you think?

If you’d like to subscribe so you don’t miss a post…Subscribe Here to receive posts in your in-box automatically. To receive posts via “READER” Subscribe Here – thank you – I’m honored to have you as a reader!

Photo is Painter’s Tools by Valerie Everett.