Where Smart Leaders Look for Permission

So, let’s be honest, the last place you’d be likely to find me on a freezing cold, rain and wind-whipped afternoon in upstate South Carolina is in a deer stand out in the elements overlooking a gaggle of hunters shooting at sweet little birds with hunting dogs at their sides. 

And, if by some strange twist of fate I was to find myself in such a predicament, without any hot chocolate or red wine to warm me up, I’d be likely to “stick it out” for maybe 15 minutes without complaining.

Ok, 30 minutes max – but that would reaaaaally be pushing it!

And yet, that’s exactly where I found myself the afternoon after Thanksgiving – for nearly 3 hours!

How on Earth did I “survive?”

The truth is those were 3 of the best hours I experienced during Thanksgiving weekend because I spent them with my wise sister and wise friend who bring light and joy and warmth to my life in the way only wise sisters and girlfriends can.

And because we talked a lot about permission.

My very wise sister started the conversation by saying that she had begun shifting her own thoughts from feeling guilty about taking time for her own goals and pursuits  to “giving herself permission” to do so. 

She talked about how powerful this shift in mindset had been for her and how it had changed her whole approach to her leadership role at work.  As a matter of fact, she found she was much more effective in her role because she was coming at it from a more empowered mindset.

Why? She remembers how she had sought permission from “grown-ups” when she was young, and how empowering it had felt when that permission had been granted.  The fact that as an adult she had the power to simply grant permission to herself – without letting guilt creep in – had simply escaped her.

It struck me as a very powerful insight.  You’d think it would be so obvious but I realized I, too, was looking to others for permission.  I immediately found myself thinking of all the things I could start giving myself permission to do – things that would bring real joy.

I think as leaders we expect to be “asked for permission” to do something.  It happens every time we approve a budget or give the go-ahead for a product launch or service initiative.  But at what point in our lives do we realize we can give ourselves the gift of permission, free of the trappings of guilt?

In my case, and in my sister’s case, not soon enough.  So, in the spirit of this late awakening I encourage you to simply look within and give yourself permission to…

• Stop doing anything out of obligation.  Do it out of love or with very positive intention or don’t do it at all
• Take a day where you evaluate and nurture your personal vision and business vision to ensure they’re still properly aligned and that you’re doing what you love and brings you joy
• If you haven’t yet, find a career that makes your heart sing
• Prioritize your priorities, and then embrace and accept them as they are
• Ask for help when you genuinely need it
• Ask for opportunities when you know you can rise to the occasion
• Honor yourself through your choices – at work and in life
• Love your colleagues and your customers
• For that matter, use the word “love” in business
• Take a risk, or a leap of faith
• Recognize when you’re looking somewhere other than within for permission…

Where will you go with this newfound sense of permission? Please share with me in the comments; I’m hoping you’ll create an inspired list!

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Photo is i wish i could follow your path by notsogoodphotography.