I’m starting to realize just how important it is for a leader to be comfortable with discomfort. Why? Because it’s in the discomfort of true transformational change that:
- we understand the depth of our humanity (and flaws)
- we move beyond our flaws to discover our real potential to soar
- we come to terms with our own reality and address it, head on
Last week I wrote a post called Shift Your Thinking for Business (and Life) Transformation that talked about how small shifts in mindset – literally just reframing our problems – can lead to dramatic differences in our daily lives, both as humans and as leaders. I think that’s where we start when we’re on the path to transforming our lives, our careers and our businesses.
But I’m coming to realize that to be truly successful in the process we must, as leaders, get comfortable with the discomfort that we’ll go through as we make behavioral and mindset shifts. It will always be easier to say, “This is too hard” or to fall back to “square one,” because even though we might recognize that “square one” isn’t the place for us to be in order for our companies to truly soar, it’s often where we’ve been living and are most comfortable.
It’s like getting really comfy cozy in our own cocoon and not wanting to go through the pain and discomfort that will turn us into that spectacular butterfly.
Where am I recognizing this lately?
- Leaders who are afraid to face the reality of their business situations
- Leaders who are uncomfortable being honest with their team members, and thus avoid conversations of truth that stymie team progress
- Leaders who are afraid to try new ideas or to challenge their teams because “things are ok the way they are”
- Honestly, within myself – as I take on the daunting task of redefining my career and launching my new business this year (C-Level Strategies, Inc.) only to realize that I am, from time to time, listening to the part of me that is uncomfortable with discomfort say, “it would be so much easier to go back…”
And yet, I know that in order to truly grow – as a person, as a leader, in my career – I must move through the discomfort in order to gain the real wisdom and sense of true self-awareness that will ultimately enable me to soar. As two of my “real life” friends tweeted just the other day on Twitter…
Mack Collier: Being outside your comfort zone is the place to be.
and during #LeadershipChat that evening, so brilliantly said by a woman who has truly lived the art of transformation and inspires me…
Judy Martin: Comfort zone needs to be toyed with to transform and transcend mediocrity to next level. Discomfort is just tangling w uncertainty – important to navigate chaos. Leadership culture is in transition.
So how am I getting comfortable with my own discomfort, and moving through it?
- Focusing on my Vision – keeping it front and center in my mind enables me to move forward, even when baby steps feel painful
- Spending time each morning releasing, mentally and emotionally letting go of, what is holding me back
- Spending a few moments each night being thankful that I’ve moved further through the discomfort (and am still standing!) and recognizing that I am actually getting more comfortable with it
- Talking with others who’ve been in the “same boat” and who share their wisdom borne of similar experiences openly and with a genuine desire to see me soar (the same desire that I have for them) – they know who they are and it means the world to me
- Celebrating victories and steps forward, no matter how small – champagne and all
It sounds so simple as I write it…if only transforming ourselves truly was.
Here’s wishing you all a transformative 2011! Please let me know where your journeys take you. I am always honored to hear from you – it’s no secret you all inspire me!
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Photo is Transformation by _brilho-de-conta.
14 Response Comments
Lisa, thank you for this post. I have worked with many fine leaders and the ones I find most inspiring are the ones who realize they can be humble and vulnerable. With those two traits, they are strong enough to ask for help and the discomfort that creates. Your comments are spot on. Many, many thanks.
Craig,
How wonderful to be able to say that you’ve worked with many fine leaders – that alone is encouraging to hear – and to know that they’ve ben willing to be humble and vulnerable is inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing your experience here – I appreciate all of your very kind words!
I posted on @cspenn ‘s “Palin Post” that last year’s word for me was “focus.” This year’s word is “transformation.”
When we say that we want to grow, we must accept the natural outgrowth of that decision, which is discomfort with moving beyond where we are.
It’s so self-evident, but I think that we come to a greater depth of knowing once we are walking that path. It goes from intellectualizing an action to experiencing an action.
Judy is just amazing; I’m glad you used her quote. It is 100% spot on.
Here’s to evolution and transformation! Great post, Lisa. Best, M.
Molly,
How amazing that you’ve chosen it as your word for the year. I think that’s truly inspiring and I can see how it would feel so completely enabling. And yes, Judy is amazing – hoping we’ll all be back together again at this year’s SOBCon! Toasting you back…to evolution and transformation!
Lisa,
First, I am humbled by your comments. Thank you!
Second, this post was right on target. I think the 2 most important points in your post have to do with those moments of reflection or downtime when you awake and before you hit the sack.
When we take time to recharge and reflect we feed an inner well of quiet. When chaos hits you can dip into that well of accumulated stillness to navigate the uncertainty in your life.
Whether it’s contemplation, reading, meditation or exercise… everyone needs that downtime. Stopping, truly offers a different perspective.
Judy,
Just know that you inspire on so many levels. 🙂
I really love your words, “inner well of quiet” and “accumulated stillness.” They really resonate with me and I think you’re so right – we need to have that so when we’re in the midst of the “tornado” we can still feel our own sense of calm…and thus keep going. Thank you so much for your comments and for sharing your wisdom with me!
Nicely put and very timely for me. During #LeadershipChat this past Tuesday – we all touched on this in various ways. Since I am now in transition – recently retired from corporate America. I am fightly a lot in the uncomfortable and discomfort zone. Looking forward to really figuring out what I am going to do next for my second career.
Thank you, Steve. I look forward to hearing about your journey and I hope that the #LeadershipChat Community will be a real resource for you – in many ways! All the very best – thank you for reading and for taking the time to share your thoughts here!
Lisa,
As usual, your post is so thought provoking. Getting to know you over the past nine months through your C-Level Strategies blog , #leadershipchat, #blogchat, Twitter and your comments on other’s blogs has often made me consider what can be achieved by just adjusting the “lens” ever so slightly.
Today as I read your post, I didn’t really think of business leaders, but instead of King George VI. Maybe you have seen the film “The King’s Speech”, if not, I hope you will, as I am sure you will be drawn into this story that we all feel we knew or understood by learning history…but oh, how this man suffered with his flaw, but knew that if were to lead his country he had to get comfortable with his discomfort, deal with self-awareness, and be willing to accept help from a common man.
This is a true story about how technology and one being forced to face the world with new technology, perhaps changed the world!
My best to you,
Judy
Lisa –
Thank you for another excellent post! Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable Is a favorite of mine. This state of being fits with so many aspects of life – as you pointed out both personally and professionally. (Spiritually as well, but I won’t include that into the mix – it was during a sermon where I first heard this statement)
As you mentioned, the process begins with the three points you described:
• we understand the depth of our humanity (and flaws)
• we move beyond our flaws to discover our real potential to soar
• we come to terms with our own reality and address it, head on
The hardest part is questioning yourself. One of the ways to improve yourself is to constantly question yourself, hold yourself to a higher standard, and make the conscious decision not to do something just because it is easy – in the end, this will set yourself apart from the rest.
The good thing is – we are not alone. There is a transformation going on that is so much deeper than countries, economies, governments – it starts with people.
And I am glad to be a part of the “movement.”
Thanks Lisa for constantly making me question myself!
SPGonz
BTW – The way you broke up the post was terrific.
Steve,
Thank you so much for all the very kind comments – I really appreciate it, including the formatting comment which will help me for future posts. You’re right – we are not alone – and I am questioning myself all the time as well! Honored to have you as a reader and I genuinely appreciate your willingness to share your thoughts here!
Lisa…I too want to thank you for this post; especially your 5 ways of addressing your discomfort during transformation. My wife and I will be packing up and heading to a new home, and life, across country next fall. At age 60, we often ask ourselves what the heck we’re doing going to a new city where we know no one and have no clients – yet. Your 5 ways to get comfortable with our discomfort will be helpful in our transformative year.
Scott
Scott,
That sounds like quite an exciting transformation! I wish you all the very best with it – and am honored to know that you found the 5 suggestions to be of value to you. Looking forward to hearing all about it in the fall!