I am in Boston today for the wake and funeral of my beloved grandmother, the matriarch of my Italian family. Her name was Antonina Rose and she had an inspiringly feisty spirit.
She taught me many things over the years, including what it means to be a strong yet passionate woman. You see, my grandfather Antonio died when she was only 29, and she raised four children in the 1950’s by herself. She was passionate about her children and about her responsibilities, and she worked tirelessly to provide for my dad and his sisters.
She always reminded us that she never “took a handout from anyone” – meaning, she was determined to make it on the wings of her own determination and encouraged us to do the same.
And yes, she fit the stereotype of the typical Italian woman – always cooking and baking and always a pot of “gravy” on the stove… Anyone who dared knock on the door was required to sit and eat before they left. That’s just what she grew up knowing… You show your love by cooking and providing for others.
Even this past month when I went back to Boston to say my final “goodbyes” knowing that she was getting closer to being with the angels, she must have told me at least 10 times in the span of a few hours to “eat something!” And sometimes this was while I had a plate of food in front of me!
There is a tremendous leadership lesson in her life experience, I believe…
When you serve and lead from love then your path becomes clear. You understand your responsibilities. You know when difficult decisions must be made and you make them. And you work your tush off to make each day better than the last, and abundantly better for those who are relying on you to succeed.
When leadership and love are one you know you are safely enveloped on your true path. It may be a path with many challenges and hardships, but there will be joy and pride in the work, and rich rewards of the most important kind.
I feel in my soul that my grandmother’s passing is an opportunity for a new awakening in me. And in her honor I wanted to share this beautiful poem:
“Awakening…”
By John McLeod
Awakening, dawn’s chorus
Welcoming,
The day new, untouched
Waiting to be filled….
And will we paint a rainbow
With all its promise
Or dull the canvas
Sadly seen?
Each day brings its own colours
To be chosen, mixed,
Pigments of joy,
Happy moments,
Smiles and laughter….
And which will you choose?
For ‘Life’ is choice,
We are all painters
In our own way,
All needing to create
Something of worth,
Of lasting beauty,
Marking our journey….
Footprints in the sand….
The sky today is azure,
The sun warm and golden
A filigree of light and shadow-play
Through the gently swaying trees.
I clean my brushes,
Choose my palette
Of vibrant, living colours,
And begin to fill
Today’s blank canvas
How will you fill your canvas today? Thank you for spending a bit of it with me…
Photo is A Second View of the World by Kansas Poetry.
25 Response Comments
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for sharing your story about your grandmother. My condolences to you and your family. Like you, I am amazed at the influence and power my grandmother had in my life…it was subtle when she lived but very obvious after she died. I was 18 when my grandmother passed, so I was bit young to really appreciate her legacy and leadership in our family. Now that I’m older (and wiser), I can see it clearly and hold a deep appreciation for it.
Love and leadership do go hand in hand, not just in our family ties but in our career paths as well. Whether it’s colleagues, bosses, or people we meet along the way, when we hold the doors open for others to see their potential and value, that’s where leadership and love work together in a powerful way.
So eloquently said, Juliann. Thank you so much for the beautiful words and for sharing your own experience here – it means the world to me. So honored to have you here…
It made my day. Thank you.
Lisa
This is a wonderful story with a powerful message. Thank you so much for sharing.
Mark
Thank you, Mark – I genuinely appreciate that. Thank you for being here and for sharing with me. 🙂
Thank you, Michael – honored by that, truly.
Thank you for continuing to bravely share yourself with us, Lisa. You are truly an inspiration!
Thank you, Mack – I hope you know how much that means to me.
Thank you again, Lisa, for sharing such a personal story. Heartfelt condolences on your loss – and such joy that you were blessed with this woman in your life. She has given you a wonderful legacy; you carry on her thoughtfulness, kindness and strength.
peace
Thank you so much, Tobey – I really appreciate your beautiful words.
Lisa, what a marvelous story you share with us and what a wonderful woman to be inspired by. Her presence in your life explains a lot about you. Thank you!
Best,
CB
CB, LOL – perhaps it does. 🙂 Thank you so much for taking the time to comment – I truly appreciate it.
What a beautifully written and heartfelt tribute, Lisa. I wish I had known your grandma — I’m sure she had the best gravy in town!
One thing I realized after losing my beloved grandmother last year, is that women of that generation new how to be both strong and kind. Times were a lot tougher back then, and they endured with a power and grace we can all aspire to have some day.
Thanks for sharing your story, and for reminding me of this important lesson!
Oops – “knew” not “new,” of course. Trying to get ready to leave for Sx so commented too quickly (but couldn’t let this post pass without thanking you!).
Thank you so much, Kellye – I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and your perspective on what our grandmothers had to be like to survive and prosper with grace. Many hugs…
Lisa,
My day yesterday was a little crazy, so I did not see your post. However, I knew about your loss as Steve shared the news and I sent a message to you, via Steve.
Today when I read your post I felt so close to you. I love when you talk about your heritage and your grandparents. You are so blessed to have shared your life with your paternal grandmother and your maternal grandfather.
I never knew any of my grandparents. Growing up I always envied my friends when they would talk about spending time with their grandparents. Having that link is so important.
Last December I wrote a post as if I were my paternal grandmother. She had 13 children. I pretended to be her, Mary Ann Ryan Eagen, writing a holiday greeting in 1921, it even includes a photo of all the kids taken in 1921. You might enjoy it.
Christmas Holiday Letter Circa 1921
Take care of yourself.
Judy
Judy, It’s an honor to know that when I write about my family others feel touched. You have inspired me to keep writing from my heart in so many ways – it has been a tremendous gift. Thank you from the bottom of my heart…
Lisa,
And you should always know, wherever you may go, no matter where you are, your grandmother will always be in your memories and in your heart. She will be as close to you as she was sitting across the table from her.
Hold tight her memories for they are yours to cherish and love.
Warmest regards,
Cheryl
Yes, they truly are… Thank you so much Cheryl – for absolutely everything.
Lisa,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing the powerful story and great example for all of us to follow. Thanks, Brandon
Thank you, Brandon – I really appreciate that.
Lisa, what a beautiful, touching and inspiring story and poem. Your grandmother would have loved my great aunt; so much life, so much spirit, so much love. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Thank you, Craig. Yes, if she had a lot of spirit they would have been fast friends. 🙂 Honored by your kind thoughts…
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