When it comes to motivating others, it’s all in your approach and in being true to yourself…
Last week when I shared The Introvert’s Guide to Leadership I mentioned that I would be going more in-depth on each important point because there just wasn’t enough room in one blog post to do each topic justice. So, today we’ll take a closer look at how introverts can motivate and move others to action.
As I stated in my original post:
“Introverts must be willing to tap into their extraversion when it’s time to “rally the troops” and inspire their teams. They must recognize that they may be more reluctant to “move into action” than their extraverted counterparts, and be honest with themselves about this. Because “moving into action” is critical to a leader’s success, they must become adept at getting outside their comfort zone to make this happen.”
I really can’t stress this point enough: leaders, regardless of their preference for introversion or extraversion, must be able to motivate and move others to action, even if that action is as simple as “thinking differently” about something or as imperceptible as inspiring someone.
Three Key Steps
I believe there are three key steps that have enabled me – as an introvert – to successfully motivate and move others to action at critical times when my visibility, presence and message were vitally important:
1. The ability to be comfortable in front of others and then lead by example
2. My ability to connect with a team or an audience – whatever its size
3. Being true to myself
Let’s look at each of these from the perspective of the introvert:
1. The importance of being comfortable in front of others and then leading by example
Even though I am an introvert I may have an advantage here in that I never met a microphone, stage or impromptu speaking opportunity I didn’t like. I believe it’s because I got up on stage in front of others at a very early age thanks to ballet recitals. And because, even at the age of three, I understood the importance of knowing my dance routines, being prepared, and of smiling.
How did I learn this? I vividly remember my dance teachers placing me front and center on stage at dance recitals and telling all the other girls to “follow Lisa” because I was the only one who knew the dance inside and out. And because I beamed for the audience – setting the tone for them to enjoy it no matter what.
These were my first experiences being the leader and being up in front of others (the audience, and more importantly, my fellow dancers). I loved everything about it.
What I took away from those experiences was that I could help others be better by showing them the way; by being thoroughly prepared, by understanding expectations, and by loving what I was doing – and then letting my passion for what I was doing show outwardly for all to see and experience.
Let’s be honest, introverts get our energy when we’re alone or in intimate groups. Getting up in front of more than a few people can be excessively draining for introverts. But, it’s necessary as a leader who must motivate others to certain action, and critical for those in C-suite roles in major companies.
Can you motivate others and move them to action without getting visibly in front of them? Can you lead by example without being visibly present?
Sure. We can do it with the written word or video or by sending others to rally the troops on our behalf, as some conquerors did for hundreds of years. Or we can be more like Joan of Arc and be visibly present to motivate others to action, and to inspire them to be better.
I advise and implore all introverts to find ways – even small ways in your community or neighborhoods – to get comfortable getting in front of others and leading the way.
Practice doesn’t necessarily make you perfect, but it absolutely makes you prepared, much more comfortable, and significantly more confident for the next step:
2. The ability to really connect with others, with your teams, and with an audience
Sometimes as a leader you motivate individuals one-on-one and sometimes you’re in a position of “rallying the troops.” Regardless of the size of the group you are communicating with, motivation only comes when you genuinely connect with people as individuals.
This is why I have never supported advice that some people give speakers to “look just above the audience” when speaking or worse, “look at people and imagine them in their underwear.”
Really?
If I’m not looking at you then why should you bother listening? And if I’m imagining the group in their underwear while trying to motivate them I’m destined to get distracted and off topic, right? I certainly won’t be connected to my own sense of enthusiasm and commitment that I’m trying to convey.
The only way to connect – and ultimately motivate others – is to look them directly in the eyes. They need to see that you believe in what you’re saying and that you care that they understand and are receiving your message. And looking directly at your team members is the only way to fully understand if your message is being truly heard.
This again, can be difficult for introverts because it really requires that we push ourselves outside that inner world we love so much and connect – completely – with the world of our teams and audience.
So what’s an introvert to do when trying to genuinely connect with others?
- Know the message you want to convey – know it in your bones – before you get in front of your team
- Understand what’s in it for your team (the WIIFM) – why they should want to be motivated to action in the way you want them to be
- Understand the tone you need to set in order for those you are motivating to follow you on the journey
- Practice conveying your message – and understand the importance of your body language as well as your spoken words
- Over time, practice looking directly at individuals when you talk, holding their attention, and reading their reaction before your eyes move to another team member – you will really be connecting when you can do this well
- You’ll learn over time that you don’t need to be loud or ebullient to motivate. Rather, when you really connect you can be the quietest person in the room – and others will strain to ensure they hear what you are saying.
- You’ll discover that when you speak, people will listen – and then they’ll be moved to action.
- Celebrate your progress – even small successes. (And never underestimate the power of doing this!)
3. Be True to Yourself
I’m not particularly a fan of the sentiment, “fake it till you make it.” I am sure it works for certain situations but, in this case, you absolutely have to bring yourself into your role of motivator and change-maker because you are asking people to follow you and to be motivated to action by your words and deeds.
If you are not truly present in that moment your team will know it.
Let your words, your tone and your body language convey what you are feeling. Let your team feel the passion and conviction you have for the journey you are asking them to make. If you don’t feel passionate and convicted but still need to motivate others, then you had better make the “What’s In It For Me” crystal clear to them or you’ll be on the journey alone.
Remember, we introverts have brilliant inner lights. Embrace yours, let it shine, and bring it wholeheartedly to your leadership role!
~
UPDATE: My new eBook, “The Introvert’s Guide to Success in Business and Leadership” is NOW AVAILABLE! You may Download it at www.TheIntrovertsGuide.net for only $7.99 or BUY IT at Amazon for Kindle!
This 60+ page eBook is for introverts who want to use their introversion to their advantage in business and leadership, and for extroverts who lead introverts and wish to be more effective leaders.
This series was inspired by this post by my friend Mack Collier.
Photo is Joan of Arc Statue, Portland OR by brxO.
20 Response Comments
Lisa –
Superb presentation and play by play of how an introvert thinks and how an introvert should apply their strengths to Leadership.
As you strongly pointed out, and my experience has shown, introverts have the need to: Prepare and Anticipate (any issues), Practice Before Presentation, and mostly, BELIEVE – in themselves, their material, and in those they are leading.
I think of one of an introverts strengths is the ability to communicate and connect on a one on one basis – this not only helps with individual leadership, but I feel also can help build the “grassroots support” within a team. Slowly building the engagement of the group, one member at a time.
One mentor/leader that I have worked with was a Classic Introvert Leader, and did an amazing job leading the group utilizing the leadership techniques you displayed in your post.
Their strength was building a connection one person at a time – while this took some time, it fit their style, and more importantly, got the team on the same page.
Thanks Lisa for the post – looking forward to next.
SPGonz
Steve,
I’m thrilled to know you’ve seen this in action – and I love your top 3 points. Thank you for adding the points about how connecting one-on-one leads to that grassroots support – excellent insights. Thank you so much for all of your support, Steve – it means quite a lot to me.
I read somewhere that over 65% of people are introverts, so likely a lot of people feel exhausted at the end of the day b/c they have to extrovert themselves.
Interesting discussion. I was painfully shy when i was little and i was in ballet where i miserably failed. My best friend was the star of the show though. I just knew I dont like ballet.
I am an extrovert but used to be very introverted. Now i speak at about 40 events per year. In the beginning of my career i was nervous and fearful about audiences. Seeing them in their underwear didnt help. However fake it until you make it always has.
Its not easy to be real when your knees are knocking and your scared. I had a mentor who said just before you speak say to yourself…. this is going to be the most fun speech- i am going to have the most fun ever….( even if I was scared etc). I did this and it was! Sometimes you cant rely on your emotions to be the way you need them to be but the show must go on.
Jody,
You bring up some really great points here and honestly, what I love about your comment is you’ve found what works well for you. Bravo for that. How insightful that your emotions may not always be what you need them to be – that’s so very true.
I think that’s why, simply for me, connecting has really been invaluable. When I look into people’s eyes I forget about what I’m feeling and try to really get in touch with “where they are at.”
And how inspiring that you now give 40 speeches per year – no wonder your url!! Love it – all the very best to you and thank you so much for reading and for sharing – it means a lot to me and the community here.
As an introvert ITA about being yourself, knowing the material cold and comfort levels. We often chose the company we keep, the subjects we blog, the audiences we meet. And the more I know my audience, the better I get to know my readers and followers, the more comfortable I am around them, therefore the more myself I can be. So that introvert fades a little in the background.
Same with knowing the material, the subject.. the more confident and passionate I can make my case. It comes naturally without having to fake the enthusiasm. It’s easier when you know your audience, when they are there to hear what you have to say, want to learn what you have to teach. The trick is to be able to connect and motivate when when they don’t share that common ground and interests and they don’t see/hear the ‘WIIFM’ (LOVE it, new acroynm for me)… so yes, you have to make that point clear to them. FWIW.
Davina,
I love how you say your “introvert fades a little in the background” when you bring more of you to the table. That’s so insightful because being an introvert is simply a preference and doesn’t define you – and you really get at that with this sentence!
And yes, I agree, it is harder to motivate when the team doesn’t yet understand the WIIFM – which is why it’s critical to know them as individuals and help them to really understand the WIIFM in their own terms. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Lisa – Great post and glad you writing on this topic.
As a “practicing” leader, I oversee a team of about 70 people. I am also an introvert and can honestly say I’ve put some of these tools into practice.
A critical quality of an introvert is their need to reflect and think things through before talking. Where my extrovert counterpart will talk to think. This drives me crazy by the way – spoken like a true introvert:)
It’s through my reflection that solidifies the thinking, the preparation and the belief. By the time I (the introvert) is ready to talk, I actually find I don’t have a problem at all.
Completely agree with the comments above, that taking the time to motivate smaller groups or individuals at a time is much easier as an introvert. I find (as an introvert), I am more about people connections than the spotlight.
With that said, it’s through the connections I’ve built, I’ve garnered loyalty. And loyalty does carry its weight when motivating the troops.
Thanks again for the post!
Thank you, Chuck – and thank you so much for sharing your own experiences. I have a client I work with every day who is very much like the extravert you described – and when you understand and appreciate these differences, as you know, the team is able to grow and be ultimately more respectful of everyone’s approach.
And I’m so glad you brought up the point about loyalty. I absolutely agree with you – it’s critical. And I suspect it runs deep because of your commitment to those relationships and connections over time.
Thank you so much for being here and for commenting, Chuck – I genuinely appreciate it.
Lisa, I love this series.
When you first meet me, many people think that I am a quiet and shy guy. Maybe a few years ago, I was, but it definitely took a few of the steps that you have mentioned to get to a place that I think of as “quiet leadership.” I think you break down what needs to happen for an introvert to stand up and be heard very well.
Chuck, you nailed my personality on the head with “A critical quality of an introvert is their need to reflect and think things through before talking.”
That’s definitely me!
Because introverts generally think before speaking, rather than hashing out their ideas out loud, I think there is a deep desire for them to be heard. It takes a little bit of courage and a lot of confidence in what you have to say. That confidence comes in time, but when you realize that you DO have something to add, then it becomes much easier, and natural.
Thanks for another quality post Lisa.
Thank you, Kevin, and I love your term “quiet leadership.”
And yes, you and Chuck and I are all in agreement about thinking things through. Remember my comment in my last post about telling people on the phone that I’m doing that? Well, one of my clients today, who read last week’s post, said to me, “you’re doing that introvert thinking thing now, right?” 🙂
Loved everything about your comment, Kevin – than you for sharing your personal perspective.
Thank you, Lisa. This is a great article. I especially appreciate how you recommend specific actions rather than just speaking in generalities. I’m saving this and I know I’ll refer back to it often.
I’m a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, but I was fortunate to have received some excellent training in public speaking. Being true to myself is so important: sure, it can be hard to stand up and try to persuade a group. But it would be infinitely harder if I were disingenuous or if I played games like visualizing them in their underwear. (LOL — I haven’t heard that one in years.)
Larry,
You haven’t heard that one in years, huh? 🙂 So glad to I could bring you a bit of nostalgia. 🙂
I really appreciate the feedback about the specific actions – so glad to know those are valuable. And how inspiring to know that you received excellent training and you understand and value your ability to be true to yourself. I genuinely admire leaders who are. All the best to you and I’m so thankful that you shared your thoughts with me.
Another excellent post, Lisa!
I love how you talked about motivating and leading by example. An extrovert’s style might be to lead by waiting for everyone to move in lockstep with him and shouting, “Come on, team, let’s go this way!” But it can be just as effective (and sometimes more so) to start taking a few positive steps toward the goal by yourself with a quiet confidence. In many cases, others will pick up on that positive movement and want to join you.
I don’t like the “fake it till you make it” advice either, because unless you’re a really good actor, people will be able to tell that your heart doesn’t back up your words, and that can seriously damage credibility and trust. Sometimes I’ve struggled to find a good solution to this, so your advice to emphasize the “WIIFM” message to each team member is truly helpful.
It’s a little ironic that I’m reading this today because my inner extrovert came out strongly and I’m sticking my neck out on something that’s near and dear to my heart. I have long believed that child abuse just might be the worst evil on the planet, and my city recently learned that some child trafficking is happening here. A reporter friend of mine wrote a story about it, and a local woman started rallying troops on Twitter to see how we can fix this. My passion on this issue is so strong that I have jumped in with both feet – doing as much as I can to spread the word, offering to help our local children’s home get the donations and support they need, etc.
My inner introvert is kind of nervous about being so vocal in a public way, but I think I’m learning that true passion offers us the courage we need to have a strong voice when that’s needed. And maybe because I’m not constantly making waves about a lot of different issues, I’ll have more influence on people now as we’re facing this problem.
Thanks so much for your great advice and encouragement. And wish Wichita, Kansas luck with #ictsos. All my best, @kamkansas
Thank you, Kathy – and I genuinely appreciate your very eloquent comment. I’m so glad to know the WIIFM advice is helpful – it works in a variety of situations.
You know, I’m not surprised that this post came to you today. I think the universe has a way of knowing what we need.
My advice to you is to reach out to the team at this website: http://love146.org/ – they understand your journey and may be able to help rally the troops along with you.
All my very best wishes to you – so glad to see your inner introvert is lighting the way. 🙂
Lisa,
Well, here we are Friday evening is upon us. I read your post this morning, but had some meetings and projects to attend to, so I came back to share with you my thoughts on being an introvert.
I know you have written about this topic before and I have commented before, but today your mention of the dance lessons really hit home. I have always been thankful that my parents went out of their way to make sure that each of their four children learned to play a musical instrument and learned to play for an audience. I must admit it was my mother that insisted, my father didn’t object (except when the three sisters each had to practice for an hour each per day!). I remember a clever trick of the piano teachers. My teachers were a man and woman (not married to each other) but so talented. They came to our home each week for the lessons, but at least once per month they would take us to another student’s home for our lesson. Why? They wanted us to learn to play on a strange piano and also perform in front of strangers. I started lessons in 2nd grade and stopped in 8th grade. Every year there was a recital, my last year I played the Warsaw Concerto by heart! You see even teaching us to memorize and play with feeling, smile, was important, especially for the introvert.
One last note, your point about “celebrating your progress – even small successes” is so valid. I always went out of my way to write a note, buy a little gift for my team members when we completed a project. People like to know they are appreciated.
Have a great weekend.
Judy
Judy,
You know I love it when you share your stories – and this is no exception! It sounds like you had very smart teachers, and that you benefited immensely from their strategies! 🙂 I love your comment about writing people on your team a note or buying them a gift – that shows your real loyalty and immersion in the team. Aside from that, though, I think it’s important for we introverts to celebrate our own personal, private successes. Making those steps forward can be truly challenging for us, and we don’t often celebrate each step the way we should – simply for ourselves. 🙂
Have a lovely weekend and thank you so much for sharing a bit of your childhood!
Lisa – I love your tips for Introverts. Always very insightful! I’m wondering if you can share info for Extroverts trying to motivate and develop Introverts? After years of working with mainly estraverts, I’m now managing a team of introverts and would love some tips on connecting with them most effectively.
Thanks!
Pam
Thank you, Pam, and that’s a great idea for a future post! I appreciate you letting me know what would be valuable to you! All the very best.