I missed #blogchat on Sunday night, which I try not to do too often because I always unearth at least a few golden nuggets of wisdom, if not a dozen.
The topic on Sunday was blogger outreach programs. In reading the transcript I came across a tweet by Ian Greenleigh mentioning that many bloggers and PR pro’s have “How to Pitch Me” pages on their blogs and websites. It seemed like such an obvious and somewhat brilliant idea – just tell me what works for you and I’ll follow the dotted lines.
Which got me thinking…wouldn’t it be nice if we had more pages like that on our blogs? I mean, why stop at “how to pitch me?”
What if those “About Me” pages really were designed as a way for us to share our dotted lines with the world? What if we had a whole section of them…And what if we all wrote them when we became adults…?
- How to befriend me
- How to inspire me
- How to get me to share my childhood stories with you
- How to get me to share my deepest secrets with you
- How to romance me
- How to love me
- How to make me laugh
- How to make me cry
- How to challenge me
- How to frighten me
- How to earn my loyalty
- How to break my heart
- How to flatter me
- How to earn my respect
- How to kiss me
- How to tickle my toes
- And even How to tickle my fancy…
We could take all these pages of juicy goodness and create something even better than Facebook. It could be called Soulbook…
The universe, and all its inherent relationships, would make so much more sense and be much less clumsy if we all had dotted lines to follow, don’t you think?
Or do we as humans actually enjoy the splendor – and frustration – of unpeeling those layers and intricacies and truths over time… and ultimately discovering the complexity and color that lies within each of us…?
Oh #blogchat…you really make me think. 🙂
Share your thoughts…?
Don’t miss a post…SUBSCRIBE here to receive posts in your in-box automatically and to receive posts via READER subscribe here – thank you!
Photo is Self-Portrait #16 by r.f.m.II
22 Response Comments
I’m torn between possessing that knowledge on a platter, or enjoying the unfolding adventure of discovery. I think I prefer the unpeeling of discovery….
Steve,
I know…isn’t that so true? You think at first how wonderful it would be to have a playbook on everyone – and then you realize all the fun is gone… 🙂 Thanks for sharing your preference!
I think you hit the nail on the proverbial head with your line “Or do we as humans actually enjoy the splendor – and frustration – of unpeeling those layers and intricacies and truths over time… and ultimately discovering the complexity and color that lies within each of us…?”
This is all about relationship building and what fun would it be to reveal all of our deepest, darkest… ok, maybe not darkest secrets but deepest secrets on the “first date?”
Everyone loves a good mystery… I know I do.
I’ve known my wife for over half of my life and I am still finding out new things about her… still finding more reasons to love her.
“Greatness is a road leading towards the unknown.”
Charles de Gaulle
Steve,
I didn’t even think about the “building” part of the relationship – you’re right. If we had all of the answers to start with then what would be there to build? I adore your comments about your wife…she is a very lucky woman. And thank you so much for the de Gaulle quote – I think there’s so much beauty in the “unknown.” 🙂
A lovely definition of intimacy I once heard: Intimacy = “into me I let you see.”
Our fondest hope and deepest fear all in one. And yet, as you write, the very thing we are designed for.
Scary things to reveal. Maybe some that we intentionally reserve for answers.
Some other “directions” that you bring to mind for me:
-How to handle the stuff I’m (still) ashamed of or otherwise working through
-How to hold me accountable
-How to just sit quietly with me
-How to tell me that you aren’t ready to connect some of these dots…
And what if we also gave each other a little more room, and cut each other a little more slack on the clumsiness of our relations, or at least the “clumsiness with good intentions.”
I suppose intimacy is a craft, not an art.
Thanks for sending me the link to Soulbook through your post today!
David,
There’s just so much juicy insight here in your comments…I absolutely love them!
That definition of intimacy is stunning in its simplicity. Thank you for sharing. And the addition of, “How to tell me that you aren’t ready to connect some of these dots…” really hit me – THAT is one of the most challenging things for we humans to do, I suspect.
Yes, perhaps we could cut each other some slack when it comes to our relationships and revel a bit more in the messiness. So glad you chose to share your thoughts today, David…
Lisa-
Always glad to inspire great insight such as this. I think there shouldn’t be any hard and fast rules as to how much people reveal about themselves, that indeed is the mystery. Maybe “how to pitch me” has not caught on like it “should” because it sends the wrong signal–that they’re too accessible, or too impressionable, or too…whatever.
Thanks, Ian!
I agree with you – I don’t think there should be either and it really would be impossible given we’re all so varied in our comfort with sharing our truth. Too “whatever” is very perceptive – it feels a little slimy but I can’t put my finger on just why! 🙂
Maybe it’s because in many cases we don’t like to be told how to do something, or perhaps we just think that our way of doing something might work and we want you to be a bit more open to it…?
Ian I’m so glad I saw your tweet – it really got me thinking! Thank you for stopping by and for taking the time to comment – I really appreciate it!
I liked this post Lisa and am glad our mutual friend David K. tweeted about it. The notion of a soulbook (the title btw is lovely) sounds intriguing; Cliffs Notes for each of us, if you will. Such a book would certainly make life, love, and relationships less complex! I’m thinking though, that there is an irreplaceable delight in discovering the contours of another’s soul slowly, painstakingly, and joyfully…
Thanks for a thought provoking post!
Asha,
David has a lovely way of thinking…doesn’t he? 🙂
I love that you called it, “Cliffs Notes” – yes, that’s truly what it would be. And I love how you described what we’d be giving up as “irreplaceable delight.” What a beautiful sentence and sentiment…
Thanks for the kind words and for taking the time to share your thoughts with us!
Reading this reminded me of the movie What Women Want with Mel Gibson and look how that turned out for him both on and off screen. I too prefer peeling back the layers to discover what makes people unique.
Thanks David for intimacy = ‘into me I let you see’…love it.
Susan,
Great reference – you’re right, he had all the answers and it was a disaster. 🙂
I think you and David would enjoy chatting sometime – he is on the MENG Board of Directors and a wonderful colleague to work with.
Thank you so much for sharing the movie analogy, Susan!
Lisa,
Your posts ALWAYS inspire me but this one… wow. Fabulousness.
re: the layers…
I think our culture teaches people to guard those layers and unfortunately, I think it contributes to lack of connection between people.
There have been so many times when I’ve felt frustrated *not knowing how* to peel a layer back and seeing, in someone’s eyes, their desire to release *something*. I think many people live this way, all their lives, never feeling comfortable enough to release it all, either that or not knowing how, continuing to guard their vulnerabilities and inhibiting their connectedness with people in general. It’s sad.
Beyond that, because it’s not as accepted to EXPRESS yourself, it creates an atmosphere where people are scared to be who they truly are. Wisdom to express that comes with age, which I LOVE, but I wish more people embraced it.
Good energy begets good energy… and vice versa with the negative.
I love your energy Lisa. Thank you for sharing yourself with such utter abandonment. I’ll be one of the first to sign up for Soulbook… because I need all the soulFULLness I can get in my life.
Thank you.
Bridget
Bridget,
Your comment is full of radiant energy – thank you for sharing it!
I appreciate all of the kind words and all of your insightful, soulful questions… I don’t know that anyone has answers to some of these questions – we are all so different as individuals.
I believe a lot of it has to do with how we are raised and the experiences we share with others early on in our lives. Beyond that, I think, lies all the intricacies and vulnerabilities that we have and just depends on who *we* are at any one moment, who we are *with* – and as David Kemper mentioned in his comment – whether or not we are comfortable letting that person “connect the dots.”
Thank you for everything Bridget – especially the word SoulFULLness…! 🙂
Dear Lisa,
I loved reading your post. The idea of “soulbook” as opposed to simply “facebook” is extremely lovely and refreshing. That said, however, I would like to differ slightly.
Don’t you think – too much dotted lines to follow would take the joy out of living, discovering oneself and growing as a person. I would rather not portray, even not hold any set standards of how to make me cry, laugh, flatter, love or tickle…..
I couldn’t agree with you more! 🙂
Thanks for sharing…
Where can I sign-up for Soulbook? Or maybe if we just think about the “golden rule” and treat each other the way we want to be treated, maybe we wouldn’t need extra pages. If we think about the receiver instead of ourselves, isn’t that the best approach. For example: What do you need to know from me instead of what can I give you.
But…seems like we might not be quite there yet so until then, let’s make the pages 🙂 And Soulbook! Or at least get Facebook to add extra parts to our profiles.
Hi Amber,
I love that the Soulbook idea is getting such great response! 🙂
And I love the twist in your thinking…If I’m a blogger who wants to work with a company, perhaps instead of a “how to pitch me” page I should write a “How we can collaborate” page…?
So glad you stopped by and took the time to share your thoughts – thank you so much!
Lisa, you make me want to get started on my soul book this very second. What a great idea on so many levels.
Jim,
I love that you love it – perhaps it’s something we can collaborate on???? 🙂
I love the how to tickle my toes page tab idea..that is hilarious. Glad you showcased Ian..he is one tremendously cool dude.
Exposure is such a challenging topic for everyone. Revealing oneself to the world brings a risk of having to live with oneself. It’s important for people to be comfortable and happy with who they are, what they say, and how they act. The tier structure of society in general brings about the subconscious impression that we are less important than those above us. I know your post is about blog pages and how we promote ourselves, but even bloggers sometimes can get to one directional in their content and in their overall representation. I am hoping to launch my personal blog soon…and as I create it, I will remember this post. 🙂 🙂
Jonathan,
Can’t wait to see your new, personal blog – how exciting to know it’s on the way!
Yes, exposure is so personal – and I think, in the end, most everyone was agreeing that we much prefer the joy of peeling back the layers (and revealing ourselves in layers) than in knowing everything all at once.
I can’t wait to learn more about you via your blog – I wish you so much joy with it! And glad you enjoyed the toe reference…! 🙂