Email: Lisa@LisaPetrilli.com
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Jealousy in LeadershipIn the world of leadership it’s very common to hear of others’ success. Announcements about “movers and shakers” and various corporate promotions often find their way into our in-boxes. Just last week this happened to a friend of mine who asked, “why do I feel sick in the pit of my stomach?”

When we are physically affected in a negative way by others’ success and happiness, there are three critical questions we should ask ourselves:

1. What does this mean for me in regard to how I feel about my own accomplishments?

We have to be very honest with ourselves about this one and determine if our reaction is actually a reflection of not feeling fulfilled by our own work, not reaching our goals or bringing our dreams and leadership vision to life. If the truth is there is an underlying feeling of lack in our life, we have to address it head-on in order to release the energy of lack and move toward abundance.

2. Is there something about my relationship with this person that triggered my reaction?

If the same news had been about someone else and we would have reacted nonchalantly, then chances are our reaction is related to our relationship with this person. Do we need to forgive them, or “let them go” in some way? Holding onto negative feelings hurts us dramatically; releasing these feelings is crucial to moving forward.

Or is there a quality this person has that we don’t see in ourselves which triggers a sense of unworthiness? This is another form of “lack” that we must move beyond, starting by asking why we don’t see it in ourselves. Often we become blind to the spectacular beauty that lies within us, to the array of qualities and strengths we have that may even lie dormant out of fear. A journey of discovery about our True Selves can be absolutely transformational.

3. What does my reaction mean about my connection to myself, particularly as a leader?

If we feel jealous of other leaders we must ask ourselves if we’ve lost a connection to our core…to our soul and our Higher Purpose. Maybe the truth is we never connected to it in the first place. If this is the case, this is the work we must do – we must connect and reconnect. Because once we are truly connected to ourselves, and once we know in our hearts that we are living our own personal True Path, then other people’s success will make us feel genuinely happy. Because when we are genuinely fulfilled we recognize this feeling in others and we instinctively celebrate it.

I wholeheartedly believe there is enough success in the Universe to go around for everyone. After all, we each have different dreams. There is nothing stopping us from making every one of them come true.

If you’re feeling jealous answer the three questions above, and then go live your dream!

~

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Photo of Jealous Princess by trixOr.

6 Response Comments

  • Peggy Fitzpatrick  August 21, 2012 at 6:34 am

    Really great reading, Lisa. I’m going to go back and read all your links. Focusing on others in this manner seems to be a common thing and yet not much is said about it. Being jealous and bitter is a self-destructive path although people don’t seem to see it when they are in it.

    I love the Four Agreements which talks about some similar topics.
    Peggy

    Reply
    • Lisa Petrilli  August 21, 2012 at 9:52 am

      Thank you so much, Peggy and I’m so honored that you wrote your post today stemming from what resonated with you most from this particular blog post! You did a lovely job connecting my ponderings with the Four Agreements – a book I can see on my shelf as I type! Honored – thank you for being here and for taking the time to comment and share!

      Reply
  • Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach™  August 21, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Love your “abundance theory” approach on this Lisa. There is plenty of success to go around yet many live the shortage approach. Sad isn’t it.

    Can you imagine the tremendous success all could have if they would see the abundance

    You have written a wonderfully reflective post that is at the same time actionable. Bravo.
    Kate

    Reply
    • Lisa Petrilli  August 22, 2012 at 7:57 am

      Thank you, Kate! I agree, it’s so hard to see others living from a mentality of “lack” rather than abundance. Seeing the abundance is so critical, as you mention. Thank you, as always, for being here and sharing your wisdom!

      Reply

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