Many people will be writing blog posts this week about the importance of giving thanks and about something special in their lives that they are particularly grateful for. I thought about writing a post like that because there are many changes taking place in my life right now and I feel very thankful for doors that are opening.
In particular, I was thinking about a wish I made recently that had come true when I pulled out a letter from my “wise friend” with a poignant quote in it, “All that you ask for is Always Given.” I was immediately reminded that there can be no power in the thanking without the courage to do the asking.
So, as blasphemous as this may seem this week, I want to encourage all of you to do more asking this holiday season. And, perhaps even more blasphemous, be bold enough to ask for something for yourself.
I was talking to another wise friend about this concept (important side note: I am blessed to be surrounded by very wise women and men in my life!) and she said she believes it’s very hard for most people to make a genuine ask – one with real intention in it – for themselves. She believes most people are uncomfortable doing so because we’re raised, especially women, to do “for others.” Asking for ourselves feels selfish, plain and simple.
I was dumbfounded, but here’s why: I asked The Universe for the gift of life in the form of a new kidney and it was given to me in the form of a beautiful, vibrant woman who is a “giver” to her core. When you’ve asked for something like life and it’s been provided, I think the thought of being unable to ask for something on your own behalf evaporates. What could possibly more difficult to ask for than life? And…what if I had never asked? What if I had just given up because the only next step seemed too selfish?
By asking I honored myself. I honored the gift of my life given to me by God and my parents. Every day that I am able to give back to the world in positive fashion is my expression of gratitude.
But it all started by honoring myself – by asking.
And my donor? She had asked for the chance to give. She had signed up to be a bone marrow donor and no opportunity had shown itself. She said to me on the phone the day she called me and offered me her kidney, “I think this is the way I am meant to give.” I still get tears in my eyes every time I think back to that moment.
It’s so easy to forget when we’re paralyzed by our fear of asking just how much power and love there is in giving; how fulfilling “giving” is for each of us as human beings!
So, honor yourself by asking. Ask with genuine intention and reflection on the words, “All that you ask is Always Given.” And yes, then give thanks with equal energy to fuel the ever awe-inspiring circle of life.
Wishing you all a very blessed Thanksgiving – I am grateful to have you in my life.
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Photo is “ask you” by Victor Bezrukov.
10 Response Comments
Hey Lisa,
I too am going thru some changes in my life from a professional standpoint having accepted the position of Creative Director of Digital Services at The Star Group, one of the most successful independent ad agencies in the country.
It is surely an exciting time for me.
You’re point about folks writing blog posts re: giving thanks this week will be expected and that’s fine (may write one myself) but you bring up a fascinating self-imposed query of asking something of yourself.
There is no doubt some, as you state, will consider it blasphemous to ask instead of giving this time of year but those that consider it blasphemous need to remember the context in which the question is being asked in the first place.
You are not condoning asking for material goods or anything of the kind.
On the contrary, you are asking to look deep inside one’s self and ask questions that only you can answer.
My suspicion is some may feel trepidation in conducting such an exercise for they fear they may not like the answer.
Congratulations, Steve! I’m thrilled to hear such great news. Wishing you and your family a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving – and thank you for being a part of this community; it means a lot to me!
Lisa,
Once again, thanks for a poignant and insightful posting!
As I read this I thought about the power of asking and its connection to authentic dialogue. I know in my own experience when I’ve NOT asked for important things it is because of some rationale I had created that either devalued myself, another, or the universe in general.
Inevitably this kind of approach ends up putting me in places and situations that do not serve anyone’s best interests. That’s where I come to think of the power of authenticity and dialogue.
Your posting inspired me to think about the notion of an “authentic ask”, or asking based on sincere and courageous “taking stock” of who we are, what we have to offer and who will benefit (besides us!) from our receiving. In my own experience, such reflection always helps me set aside my own limiting preconceptions to recognize the intrinsic abundance of the universe.
In asking, we initiate a dialogue based on clarity, vulnerability, and self-respect. While the ask may not always result in our desired end, it will inevitably bring us closer to a more genuine relationship with the others, the world at large, and of course, ourselves.
Thanks again,
David
David,
So beautifully said and so insightful… You’re right, we often do have limiting preconceptions in regard to the abundance of the universe that is actually open to us. And I like your final point about your own experiences in asking – that though you may not get exactly what you asked for you get something very genuine that brings you closer to your own self and to the world at large.
Wishing you a truly beautiful and abundant holiday, David!
Well here we go again… yes?
So, we are birds of a feather you and I.. And it never ceases to amaze me how similarly we think….
What you’ve pointed out so wonderfully and lovely is that the power of asking – is really the first half of the magic of receiving….
I just finished my spiritual retreat – where this was a big piece (it’s always a big piece) of our discussions.
The magic of receiving (and thereby asking) is a tough one for us to master – because as children we’re taught (I’m generalizing) to treat receiving as something that shows weakness. We’re taught to claw our way, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps – and not ask for help – lest we “owe” that person something.
But (as you’ve pointed out so many times) life is gift – and really our journey on this plane is to learn how to receive it magically. As one of my spiritual mentors says “Receiving is an energy to respect, to harness, to direct, to generate” – and the art of asking is a key step in learning how to harness that energy.
Best to you and your family on this holiday!
~rr
Robert,
Your comments always inspire me – thank you for the gift of them this year and the gift of your friendship! Though your mentor’s quote is quite poignant I love how you said it, “our journey on this plane is to learn how to receive it (the gift of life) magically.”
All the best to you and your family as well this holiday season!
Lisa
A wonderful thanksgiving message. Thank you!
Mark
Thank you, Mark! Hope you have a beautiful Thanksgiving celebration!
Hey Lisa,
I love your heart and spirit. If you hadn’t asked, we would be missing out on your insights. Thank you for your willingness to share your life with us. Have a great Thanksgiving.
Victor
Victor,
That means so much to me, more than you could possibly know. I had a beautiful Thanksgiving and hope you did as well. All the very best to you