When Leadership Means Leaning On and Letting Go

I really enjoyed reading this article, especially mentioning the vulnerability piece. In my latest post, I posted about how vulnerability will help expose you to different things. I believe that vulnerability and letting go, while not one in the same, can be and it’s important to do both.

We have this ego piece that loves to hold on to what we know and after so long, holds us back from our true greatness. At some point, we have to let go just so we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to see, in many cases, what’s right in front of us. The best part is that this post is not just for leaders. Sometimes, we all need to be in a position of vulnerability just to understand where something isn’t working anymore.

Thanks again for this wonderful post!

Thanks Lisa for writing this. I think too often I keep issues and struggles to myself, as if it would be a burden to share it with others, and I try to spare them from hearing about it. Thanks for giving me a new way to look at this. And hope this has been a better week 😉

Lisa, sometimes the real strength of a leader lies not in maintaining the appearance of control, but in the courage to be vulnerable and transparent with others. It takes strength and courage to self-assess the paths we choose to follow and to be willing to change when that path is no longer in alignment with who we essentially are.

Bravo to you for a heartfelt and courageous post!

Lisa,
This post means a lot to me. I feel like I don’t things very gracefully and often question my abilities as a leader, especially when I am going through personal stuff.
I forget that people care about me and love me just the way I am. It seems to me that the more vulnerable I am the more people embrace me. It’s such a marvelous process.
When I let go of conditions and people I can’t control I make room for things I can: ME and my reactions. Sometimes people, places, things really piss me off and I am feel like I am left behind or losing something but….after I take a deep breath, meditate, pray, write about it…I feel fresh and open the door to huge possibilities.
So often I am saddened by the pain but find those to be the BEST lessons life gives me. The experience thereafter are greater, more meaningful and instead of dreading the departure or loss I find my faith in God grows deeper and know that my life is fuller for it.
I warmly welcome all the hellos and goodbyes life has and meet both with gladness.
I am uber happy to have you in my life.
thanks for sharing your authenticity and transparency with me. I promise that it is not something I will take for granted.
🙂 much love…jNo

I think that this has been attributed to Rumi:

“The pain IS the path.”

I googled it and can’t find the proper attribution, but the sentiment is sound, nonetheless. There is something sublime about transcending difficulty by surrendering to it. When we admit vulnerability, we allow a sort of cosmic vacuum to occur: our weakness is “filled” by the strength of another.

You impress me so. Love & light sent your way. My best, M.

Something must be in the air because it has been that kind of week. Tough stuff going on here, too and I so appreciate you sharing.

I have a hard time leaning on others when times are tough. It’s something I have to work on to get through what it ahead.

What I am getting better at is letting feelings flow and not forcing them to be “right.” After a while the bad feelings subside and better ones can come to light.

Glad to hear this week is better. One day at a time, as they say.

Lisa:

I have done and continue to do this work in my life. I often say that I have “rewired my legacy”. It has required me to dig deep, risk being exposed, feeling vulnerable and out of control. All of which has served my marriage, my kids, my friendships and my work with my clients in ways that have been incredibly rewarding.

I am passionate about modeling what this looks like to the next generation. It is what helps us to understand humanity.

Once again, thanks.

Nan

Powerful post Lisa and so much truth in this.

Without getting into specific details, there is someone in my life who is the “rock” for everyone. And I can tell at times this can be a burden (as much as this person tried not to let on).

Sometimes it takes a little nudge from someone to tell them its OK to rely on others. Sometimes it can be as simple as someone listening to what’s on their minds. I have witnessed the relief this person felt by “letting go”. No one has to be a steel door at all times, showing vulnerabilities can be liberating at times.

I actually think this process was both energizing and re-rejuvenating for this person. And I let them know I still respect all that they do and they are truly appreciated. At the same time, it felt good to be the rock for this person.

Somewhere we learn that being vulnerable is a negative trait of a leader. The irony is most people are more apt to follow someone willing to show their vulnerabilities. I thank you for sharing yours.

Great post Lisa! My constant struggle as an administrator is finding MY leadership style. Your post explains exactly what I’ve gone through. In fact, here’s a glimpse of the most vulnerable I’ve been as a Principal. There was one particular moment when I had my “awakening”. It actually came at the beginning of last school year. I don’t remember the date, but I do remember everything else that transpired. I was giving devotions to my faculty and was right in the middle of my opening prayer. Right after I said the words, “Father, I can’t do this on my own…”, I completely lost it and started crying. Now let me tell you, I didn’t just shed a single, solitary tear that slowly rolled down my cheek. I completely lost it. I couldn’t finish my prayer. It was extremely difficult to get through the rest of my devotions, cause my heart was wrenched. In reflection, I knew exactly what had happened in that moment, and who I was becoming as an administrator. Thanks again for sharing. God bless you!

Lisa,
I don’t have any idea what you experienced this past week. I can only hope that as you are walking through this you will soon know that each of life’s challenges shapes and defines us. And part of the challenge is not being afraid of letting people “see” YOU.

I have come to realize that my time in the desert has taught me more about life than any other of my experiences. I want to share a two examples.

Are you familiar with the palo verde tree? They serve as “nurse” plants for saguaro cacti by providing a canopy – in effect, a microhabitat – which offers warmth in winter and shade in summer. The slower-growing, longer-lived cactus will eventually replace its one-time protector. This is incredible to witness. I have saguaros in my front yard that are more than 150 years old. And then some beautiful palo verdes that are “nursing” some young saguaros.

Here in Tucson we have Gambel quails. They are a non-migratory bird that basically walks quickly through the brush and undergrowth. They fly very little, short bursts. Scientists say they are monogamous. The amazing thing about them is that the parents support the chicks. When you see them walking along one parent will be in the front leading the brood and the other parent will walk behind the last chick. You see, they take care of each other and if they come across an orphaned chick they immediately welcome it to their brood.

I learned a long time ago that you cannot always be the powerful mountain. As I told our mutual friend, Jorja White, “Mountains may inspire us, but the valleys are created by rivers and streams…they give us life.”

Renewal…
Judy

Lisa, thank you for being you.

Lisa, you struck a note with this post; all the comments show how crucial it is to be yourself and be vulnerable. Level V leadership… easier said than done.

Embracing humility allows us to seek out others to lean on and learn. High emotional intelligence trumps ego. Great post.

Craig

Well, I don’t like this post. Not one jot.

Sure, it’s well written and gorgeous and eloquent and everything else great…

But I don’t want to hear that you’re having a hard time =/ That makes me sad.

I hope you know I’m around if you ever need to talk.

Now as for the rest of the post, yes, talking is very important, but in the online world there’s also a fine line between sharing and asking for help versus over-sharing or sharing to get attention.

By the way, you tread that line perfectly here.

Lisa, I don’t know you or what you’ve just gone through, but the part about dealing with something painful that makes you want to turn the clock back is something I’ve experienced. Yes, you will remember it for a long time, but you will heal over time, even though it may be hard to imagine right now. I remember coming to work everyday trying to keep things stable for an entire staff and school community affected by a tragedy, and going home late each night to deal with my own grief – for weeks. We find the strength somewhere to keep going for others. And when I was dealing with my toughest moments, others lifted me up by letting me know they cared. Today the sadness remains but the pain has eased. We often talk about authentic leadership and it is difficult to define. I do believe that showing who we are, letting others see our ups and downs and the challenges we experience as we deal with the pain not only makes us stronger, it also connects us in deeper ways with the people around us – family, colleagues, friends. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. Best wishes to you in the weeks ahead. While being there for others, take time to draw your strength from the people around you who care and are there for you!

Howdy, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.